I am not a hard man.
I am not particularly scarred by any events in my past.
I am not anything special
Though I am not given to tears and show of much emotion, I find that a man is not one who hides is emotion, but one who can control it for the glory of the King.
This does not mean bitterness, depression, or brash cynicism have any place in the heart of a man, but it means he must fight through those to becomes the rock that he needs to be.
Lately, as I recover from a rather painful burnout the tears come easily. As I read Scripture something will jump out at me and I’ll find myself an emotional ball of weakness, or is it vulnerability?
Did you know there was a difference?
A man leads not with his charisma or with his stoicism, or any one particular trait.
It is his attitude.
A servant’s heart, a shepherd, who will make himself vulnerable for his flock.
He is not weak, in fact is strength in his ability to kneel in humility.
Humility tests a bigger man than any sword.
So with all this said….
I can be bitter
I can be depressed
I can be cynical
But I am not prone to surrender.
I am a saint
I am a sinner
Hallelujah, both receive equal amounts of the grace of God
I wonder how the news spread.
Of Jesus’ birth I mean. I wonder if it was a grandiose display that everyone knew about, or if it spread in whispers and rumblings. Remember beyond a couple angels and a visit by some wise men, there wasn’t a great deal of pomp and circumstance surrounding the first few years of Christ’s life.
So I believe the latter. I think (and once again my perspective) is that beyond Bethlehem the news spread in rumors and whispers. People hearing the grand tale and wanting it to be true, but afraid to proclaim what they had not seen for themselves.
So for year’s… rumors and whispers that never died, always of a King who was born, who frightened Herod enough to order the murder of all the male babies anywhere near the rumored birthplace of the “King of the Jews.”
Fear is a powerful accelerant.
And it did accelerate, but never into real open celebration, but they never died either.
It’s a big desert out there, and when you traveled you traveled from water to water, settlement to settlement, and you didn’t ask questions about what was beyond the road well traveled.
Then one day, out of the dust and the rocks, out the bleak hopelessness of the desert… comes a voice.
A voice of one calling in the desert
“Prepare the way of the Lord
make straight paths for Him.”
Isaiah 40:3
He was rugged, unshaven, lived off the land around him, relying on nothing but the God he served.
He gave the people reason not to whisper anymore
He gave the people reason to LIVE for something
He gave them something REAL
He gave them HOPE
And so they came, not by the few, but by many.
The religious leaders even showed up, and the man from the desert called them snakes.
He preached the word of God with a passion they had forgotten.
He taught that he was only the prelude of what was to come.
The whispered words
Messiah
King of the Jews
Deliverer
Yeshua
Not whispers anymore, but shouts carried by the winds across the desert, a cry that carries to us here… now.
And then He came.
He.
Who has been and is and will be.
Came.
The man from the desert who had made such an impact in so short a time, who had prophesied and declared the word of God so boldly….
Crumbled before this man.
Unfit to even wash his sandals… yet he baptized him in the Jordan as he had so many others.
Only this man received blessings not from the crowd but from the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
God himself was there.
Jesus began his ministry, and he called John the Baptist the greatest among men.
(Matthew 3)
Yet John would be beheaded years later. (Matthew 14)
That life did not work out the way our comfort gospel says it should.
John called the religious leaders snakes… and unless we are willing to live a life that ends as Johns did, then are we any different?
Are we capable of putting aside our scars, our bitterness, and our cynicism for the sake of living a life that is HOLY and preaches something other than complacency?
If our lives look like everyone else then we have failed.
If our lives are different, but for the sake of religion and not Christ, then we are snakes.
As a voice that cries out in the wilderness it can be lost in the wind.
Do not stop, do not quieten yourselves, because if we are quiet, then we are complacent, and have lost our first love.
We all have lost that love at sometime or another... so we must cry out to him, the one who was and is and is to come. For he is our Messiah, our King, our Deliverer.
Yeshua
Grace and Peace
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Worship, The Church, and a Little Sincerity
hey everybody, I'm going to post a podcast edition of this very soon so if you don't want to read you can wait for that. I'll post and link you, and advertise it on facebook so you should be able to find it pretty easily. Anyway... now to what God's dealing with me today....
Worship is something that I will never fully understand.
The more I come to understand it, the more I understand that I’m only scratching the surface and there is always more to strive for.
This morning I got to see The Parachute Band live here at Integrity. We are their recording label so they come and just led a worship service. It was awesome, and I found myself surprisingly moved by it and as the speaker came up and gave a message on worship I was only half listening as I tried to figure out exactly why this short service had changed my heart so much.
I realized how long it has been since I have been able to openly, passionately worship. Since True Spin ended before school let out I haven’t been able to, the Church that I’ve been working at (and have resigned now) is very traditional with their hymns and southern gospel “twang” to their music. I learned the lesson early that worship is not about music, it’s not about style, it is an attitude of the heart.
So have I been foolish and not been sincerely worshiping all this time? I don’t feel bad about worshiping differently in different places, if I were to worship at this traditional church in the passionate expressive way than I would be a distraction to everyone else, and whether that is their fault or not, is it my place to be a distraction?
Or perhaps the problem is not with me, and what I had missed was a body of sincere believers crying out to God in whatever way their hearts desire.
The way I see it, the church in America (generally speaking) has traded tradition for complacency, and it was such a seamless trade that it has gone nearly un-noticed in all but the most passionate congregations.
Why does the Church population drop off drastically from 50 downward, then ever increasing down to my age and into youth, then suddenly it goes back up again in Children.
Two generations missed it. They missed the point.
They missed that church is not about practicing an empty religion and it’s not about tradition, it is about JESUS CHRIST and his LOVE FOR US.
It is about SINCERE WORSHIP and LOVING our brothers and sisters—our family in Christ!
And it’s nagging at this entire generation that we’ve missed something, that there is more to life and we MUST FIND IT.
That’s why the number of Children in Church is rising, because may not care enough to help themselves, but they love their Children and want them to find… something… more.
And now this generation, seeking as they may be… we are no different than our parents, we have the same choice… and this generation is not choosing wisely.
We need hope! We need examples! We need people who will shove their fears and inhibitions where they belong and STAND for what they believe in. Why is the Church in America complacent? Because its vast majority have decided that sitting in the pew is the only that is required of you.
I have heard so many times in my church in the last few months “the Devil is after me and he makes it hard.”
Don’t you dare blame anyone but yourself.
The Devil is not some supernatural figure whose sole purpose is to have you catch every red light and make your boss have a bad day. His purpose is to keep you out of the will of God, and if he succeeds, well it’s you that screwed up, because that “mean old Devil” has no authority over you.
So Church, it is high time that you quit shoving off your responsibilities on others and you stood up for yourself and your life MEAN SOMETHING.
The reason I am so blunt and harsh about this is because I have personally seen a church that could have been a magnificent outreach in the community, to display love and the hope found in Christ. But instead they are blinded by tradition, and the complacency that followed.
Why is the Church in America collapsing? It is because they are complacent and comfortable and they are outside the will of God.
Why am I leaving the Church I have been at for 7 months? It is because they are complacent and comfortable and they are outside the will of God.
This is not supposed to be comfortable, and Church is not supposed to make you happy. It is supposed to bring you to God… and HE will make you whatever he wants you to be.
We are called to worship in spirit and in truth, which means we will worship in sincerity, and we will always be open to whatever God calls us to do. Like love other members of our church. To take off the mask of “I’m doing good” to “I feel like my life is falling apart.” When we wear that mask in front of the family of Christ we rob our selves, our church and our Father God of our sincere worship.
Every single one of us is a part of the Church, and we all can make a difference.
The choice is yours
1 Timothy 4:12
John 13:15
-Israel
Worship is something that I will never fully understand.
The more I come to understand it, the more I understand that I’m only scratching the surface and there is always more to strive for.
This morning I got to see The Parachute Band live here at Integrity. We are their recording label so they come and just led a worship service. It was awesome, and I found myself surprisingly moved by it and as the speaker came up and gave a message on worship I was only half listening as I tried to figure out exactly why this short service had changed my heart so much.
I realized how long it has been since I have been able to openly, passionately worship. Since True Spin ended before school let out I haven’t been able to, the Church that I’ve been working at (and have resigned now) is very traditional with their hymns and southern gospel “twang” to their music. I learned the lesson early that worship is not about music, it’s not about style, it is an attitude of the heart.
So have I been foolish and not been sincerely worshiping all this time? I don’t feel bad about worshiping differently in different places, if I were to worship at this traditional church in the passionate expressive way than I would be a distraction to everyone else, and whether that is their fault or not, is it my place to be a distraction?
Or perhaps the problem is not with me, and what I had missed was a body of sincere believers crying out to God in whatever way their hearts desire.
The way I see it, the church in America (generally speaking) has traded tradition for complacency, and it was such a seamless trade that it has gone nearly un-noticed in all but the most passionate congregations.
Why does the Church population drop off drastically from 50 downward, then ever increasing down to my age and into youth, then suddenly it goes back up again in Children.
Two generations missed it. They missed the point.
They missed that church is not about practicing an empty religion and it’s not about tradition, it is about JESUS CHRIST and his LOVE FOR US.
It is about SINCERE WORSHIP and LOVING our brothers and sisters—our family in Christ!
And it’s nagging at this entire generation that we’ve missed something, that there is more to life and we MUST FIND IT.
That’s why the number of Children in Church is rising, because may not care enough to help themselves, but they love their Children and want them to find… something… more.
And now this generation, seeking as they may be… we are no different than our parents, we have the same choice… and this generation is not choosing wisely.
We need hope! We need examples! We need people who will shove their fears and inhibitions where they belong and STAND for what they believe in. Why is the Church in America complacent? Because its vast majority have decided that sitting in the pew is the only that is required of you.
I have heard so many times in my church in the last few months “the Devil is after me and he makes it hard.”
Don’t you dare blame anyone but yourself.
The Devil is not some supernatural figure whose sole purpose is to have you catch every red light and make your boss have a bad day. His purpose is to keep you out of the will of God, and if he succeeds, well it’s you that screwed up, because that “mean old Devil” has no authority over you.
So Church, it is high time that you quit shoving off your responsibilities on others and you stood up for yourself and your life MEAN SOMETHING.
The reason I am so blunt and harsh about this is because I have personally seen a church that could have been a magnificent outreach in the community, to display love and the hope found in Christ. But instead they are blinded by tradition, and the complacency that followed.
Why is the Church in America collapsing? It is because they are complacent and comfortable and they are outside the will of God.
Why am I leaving the Church I have been at for 7 months? It is because they are complacent and comfortable and they are outside the will of God.
This is not supposed to be comfortable, and Church is not supposed to make you happy. It is supposed to bring you to God… and HE will make you whatever he wants you to be.
We are called to worship in spirit and in truth, which means we will worship in sincerity, and we will always be open to whatever God calls us to do. Like love other members of our church. To take off the mask of “I’m doing good” to “I feel like my life is falling apart.” When we wear that mask in front of the family of Christ we rob our selves, our church and our Father God of our sincere worship.
Every single one of us is a part of the Church, and we all can make a difference.
The choice is yours
1 Timothy 4:12
John 13:15
-Israel
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Men of God, Feet Washing, and Emotional Train Wrecks
This was originally a comment on Willie Macs note, but as I wrote the comment I decided it needed to be a whole blog.
Disclaimer: This is written specifically for guys, so ladies if some things don’t click, I’m sorry.
I can count on my hands the number of men that I really respect on this campus. There are over 700 people within 200 yards of me, and I can’t think of ten Godly men. That puts up red flags all over the place and honestly, it makes me mad.
God is screaming at so many men to stand up and be the righteous MEN OF GOD that they are called to be. But until you step up you’re still a boy. I don't care what John Eldredge says.
To be a man is not wondering around in the woods, not satisfying your emotional urges with breaking things or using a woman to make yourself feel better--in whatever way that may be.
There are two things that can undo a man before anything else: pride and a woman. Those two things will never fail to bring you down, just look at David in 2nd Samuel.
The Devil always uses the same method, and he often fools us into the lie that he attacks in many different ways but really it all boils down to one thing. He will always use your emotions against you; he will never attack your heart, soul, mind or strength without attacking your emotions.
The Devils goal for our lives, specifically for the campus of UM is to get a bunch of emotional train wrecks that are useless to the Kingdom of God. I propose to you that he has succeeded. That all these men who are called to be leaders are sitting around moping about their problems as God is shouting to his soldiers to STAND UP and FIGHT.
He has promised you deliverance, and indeed it is already given to you, but instead you are content to sit in a pool of your own self-pity and let the Kingdom pass you by.
So many of you are “called” to be pastors, preachers, missionaries and worship leaders; Church planters and counselors. You all have the opportunity to practice that here, but you just sit and wait on God to open doors. Brothers, the DOORS ARE OPEN and no one is stepping up. So I beg you in the Spirit of the Living God, step up and be a man, take your place in the grand masterpiece of Gods work and watch what he does through you all over everything you touch.
Back to where we started. Campus Ministries is looking for a few good men and you’re one of them, if you step up. You are here, so you are called to this school, therefore you are called to play a part in Gods work here. Campus Ministries is by no means representative of Gods work, but it is a major way to get involved and find a place where you can serve. If you aren’t serving, then you’re out of the will of God.
That doesn’t necessarily mean Campus Ministries specifically, but what I’m trying to say is simple. Stand up, be a man, and wash somebody’s feet.
Please don’t think I’m just bashing for the heck of it, because I’m really preaching to myself here. I just want the brothers here at UM to be unified for something, because there are so many men that could be such rocks of faith, but they are just a kick in the pants shy of pressing onward. I’m not here to give you that kick in the pants, that’s the Holy Spirits job, I just wanted to pass on what is on my heart about the men on this campus. I am here for each and every one of you, I am praying for you generally, but I would be happy to pray for you specifically, I welcome anything you have to say about my blog and I would love to hear what God is doing in and around you.
Grace and Peace to you
1 John 2:13-14
-Israel
Disclaimer: This is written specifically for guys, so ladies if some things don’t click, I’m sorry.
I can count on my hands the number of men that I really respect on this campus. There are over 700 people within 200 yards of me, and I can’t think of ten Godly men. That puts up red flags all over the place and honestly, it makes me mad.
God is screaming at so many men to stand up and be the righteous MEN OF GOD that they are called to be. But until you step up you’re still a boy. I don't care what John Eldredge says.
To be a man is not wondering around in the woods, not satisfying your emotional urges with breaking things or using a woman to make yourself feel better--in whatever way that may be.
There are two things that can undo a man before anything else: pride and a woman. Those two things will never fail to bring you down, just look at David in 2nd Samuel.
The Devil always uses the same method, and he often fools us into the lie that he attacks in many different ways but really it all boils down to one thing. He will always use your emotions against you; he will never attack your heart, soul, mind or strength without attacking your emotions.
The Devils goal for our lives, specifically for the campus of UM is to get a bunch of emotional train wrecks that are useless to the Kingdom of God. I propose to you that he has succeeded. That all these men who are called to be leaders are sitting around moping about their problems as God is shouting to his soldiers to STAND UP and FIGHT.
He has promised you deliverance, and indeed it is already given to you, but instead you are content to sit in a pool of your own self-pity and let the Kingdom pass you by.
So many of you are “called” to be pastors, preachers, missionaries and worship leaders; Church planters and counselors. You all have the opportunity to practice that here, but you just sit and wait on God to open doors. Brothers, the DOORS ARE OPEN and no one is stepping up. So I beg you in the Spirit of the Living God, step up and be a man, take your place in the grand masterpiece of Gods work and watch what he does through you all over everything you touch.
Back to where we started. Campus Ministries is looking for a few good men and you’re one of them, if you step up. You are here, so you are called to this school, therefore you are called to play a part in Gods work here. Campus Ministries is by no means representative of Gods work, but it is a major way to get involved and find a place where you can serve. If you aren’t serving, then you’re out of the will of God.
That doesn’t necessarily mean Campus Ministries specifically, but what I’m trying to say is simple. Stand up, be a man, and wash somebody’s feet.
Please don’t think I’m just bashing for the heck of it, because I’m really preaching to myself here. I just want the brothers here at UM to be unified for something, because there are so many men that could be such rocks of faith, but they are just a kick in the pants shy of pressing onward. I’m not here to give you that kick in the pants, that’s the Holy Spirits job, I just wanted to pass on what is on my heart about the men on this campus. I am here for each and every one of you, I am praying for you generally, but I would be happy to pray for you specifically, I welcome anything you have to say about my blog and I would love to hear what God is doing in and around you.
Grace and Peace to you
1 John 2:13-14
-Israel
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Passion, Worship, and the Thirsty Deer
God I miss you.
These words roll off in prayer before I think them, then I stop for a moment as I realize what I just said. How can I miss God when he is always with me? But from the overflow of the heart I seem to have spoken a phrase beyond my own understanding, so I write.
Though God is always with me I do not always feel his presence, as all Christians know, whether we like it or not, we do not always as if God is there at all. This is usually a fault of our own but occasionally it is simply a test from God himself to take us beyond where we thought we could go.
I feel the presence of God with me now to an extent, he is the only reason I can maintain the pace that I do and not burn out.
What I miss is the overflow of joy that comes from not only his presence but his love constantly pouring out in my life that does not allow me to get comfortable, the outpouring of love that not only makes me joyful but passionate. Not just passionate in the things that matter most, but passionate with every thing that I do, because he called me to this place, and every word I speak and every move I make should be for the glory of him, within his perfect will and plan.
That passion is what I miss. The passion that only comes from God,
The passion that makes me want to SHOUT and DANCE and SING.
Call me foolish, that I should be content with the style of worship in quiet reverence and stillness that is an attitude of the heart and is not reflected externally.
I cannot hold in what is within my heart without it showing externally, I cannot keep myself still, to be reverent is not only the attitude of the heart but for me to worship in spirit and truth I CANNOT KEEP SILENT.
As I seek God I see glimpses of what he is doing, whether directly in my life or in the world around me I see it. It brings me joy; it makes me hunger for more. To live in an attitude of worship, of constant prayer is my greatest desire, and as I see God work it makes me want to pursue more and more.
This pursuit is directly reflected in actions, once again the overflow of the heart…. Therefore it is most directly reflected in my worship, as my life should be an act of worship, but it isn’t always (workin on it) so we’ll just talk about the specific worship in Church or a Campus Bible Study.
(Disclaimer: I must thank Dr. Younce for this paragraph, because after I wrote this in Christian Studies building lobby he speaks on this in class, so this stuff is from my notes.)
God desires us to worship him; he seeks us to worship him. Worship draws you closer to God, and as you draw closer to God you begin to look more like him, therefore being reflected in your life from the meditations of your heart to where you decide to eat lunch to how you respond to hardship. It is all changed because of worship.
So as I worship I find myself drawing closer to God and him in turn to me. This means my heart, my soul, is more like his, and thus I have joy, I have peace, I have a PASSION for LIFE that is BEYOND understanding, I have passion to spread his love, just as Isaiah 26:8 says: “LORD we show our trust in you by obeying your laws, our hearts desire is to glorify your name.”
Hearts desire. When he has our hearts within his love our will looks like his, I know I’m repeating myself a lot but this affects so much of our lives I could write forever and never reach the end of how much worship means to us every moment. I’ll just leave the interpretation of this to you and the Holy Spirit and stop saying the same thing over and over….
Perhaps we should all be missing God, and we should all be so hungry for his love and for the fulfilled life he brings that it is not only a desire for more but it is a palpable emotion of actually missing our Father.
But then again maybe I’m wrong. Seek God and decide for yourself. ☺
Psalm 42:1
-Israel
These words roll off in prayer before I think them, then I stop for a moment as I realize what I just said. How can I miss God when he is always with me? But from the overflow of the heart I seem to have spoken a phrase beyond my own understanding, so I write.
Though God is always with me I do not always feel his presence, as all Christians know, whether we like it or not, we do not always as if God is there at all. This is usually a fault of our own but occasionally it is simply a test from God himself to take us beyond where we thought we could go.
I feel the presence of God with me now to an extent, he is the only reason I can maintain the pace that I do and not burn out.
What I miss is the overflow of joy that comes from not only his presence but his love constantly pouring out in my life that does not allow me to get comfortable, the outpouring of love that not only makes me joyful but passionate. Not just passionate in the things that matter most, but passionate with every thing that I do, because he called me to this place, and every word I speak and every move I make should be for the glory of him, within his perfect will and plan.
That passion is what I miss. The passion that only comes from God,
The passion that makes me want to SHOUT and DANCE and SING.
Call me foolish, that I should be content with the style of worship in quiet reverence and stillness that is an attitude of the heart and is not reflected externally.
I cannot hold in what is within my heart without it showing externally, I cannot keep myself still, to be reverent is not only the attitude of the heart but for me to worship in spirit and truth I CANNOT KEEP SILENT.
As I seek God I see glimpses of what he is doing, whether directly in my life or in the world around me I see it. It brings me joy; it makes me hunger for more. To live in an attitude of worship, of constant prayer is my greatest desire, and as I see God work it makes me want to pursue more and more.
This pursuit is directly reflected in actions, once again the overflow of the heart…. Therefore it is most directly reflected in my worship, as my life should be an act of worship, but it isn’t always (workin on it) so we’ll just talk about the specific worship in Church or a Campus Bible Study.
(Disclaimer: I must thank Dr. Younce for this paragraph, because after I wrote this in Christian Studies building lobby he speaks on this in class, so this stuff is from my notes.)
God desires us to worship him; he seeks us to worship him. Worship draws you closer to God, and as you draw closer to God you begin to look more like him, therefore being reflected in your life from the meditations of your heart to where you decide to eat lunch to how you respond to hardship. It is all changed because of worship.
So as I worship I find myself drawing closer to God and him in turn to me. This means my heart, my soul, is more like his, and thus I have joy, I have peace, I have a PASSION for LIFE that is BEYOND understanding, I have passion to spread his love, just as Isaiah 26:8 says: “LORD we show our trust in you by obeying your laws, our hearts desire is to glorify your name.”
Hearts desire. When he has our hearts within his love our will looks like his, I know I’m repeating myself a lot but this affects so much of our lives I could write forever and never reach the end of how much worship means to us every moment. I’ll just leave the interpretation of this to you and the Holy Spirit and stop saying the same thing over and over….
Perhaps we should all be missing God, and we should all be so hungry for his love and for the fulfilled life he brings that it is not only a desire for more but it is a palpable emotion of actually missing our Father.
But then again maybe I’m wrong. Seek God and decide for yourself. ☺
Psalm 42:1
-Israel
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Choices, Changes, and the madness of the Apostle Paul
The things I want to do I do not do, and what I do not want to do I do.
These words of Paul from Romans 7:15 are my heart at this moment. In this I feel what he felt, that I desire to be closer to God, but I am continuously propelled backward by my sin nature. It is maddeningly frustrating, but I understand the madness of the Apostle Paul. Indeed, I find myself feeling the same way.
I made the decision before this semester started that things were going to be different. I was going to call God out on his promises. What I mean by this is that he has promised to take me as far spiritually, mentally, and emotionally as I will let them him take me in maturity. I want to be that Man of God.
And I will not play games anymore.
This is bigger than me, than my conceited desires of this world that seek for ownership of my soul, and will take every piece that I let them take.
But only as much as I let them
The Christian life is a choice.
You choose to accept Salvation, and once you have you are no longer a sinner. You are a Saint who sins, but only as much as you choose to.
The reason all sin is the same in Gods’ eyes is because all sin is compromise, it is all us making the choice that “this isn’t so bad….”
Through all your individual stipulations and specific situations and whatever excuses you use to make yourself more comfortable with sin the fact remains that it is a choice.
I’m not trying to just preach fire and brimstone and condemnation or anything like that. I’m just sharing my heart, because I am just as guilty as you are. To quote Paul again as he parallels my own life, “I am the chief of sinners.”
Indeed I am, even as I make the choice to change my life to pursue God more completely I am still a sinner.
But I digress… I am a Saint who sins.
And once you have made the choice to accept salvation, so are you.
So I urge you, through our brokenness, to help each other pursue God more completely than we ever have before.
Though I myself have compromised, though I have discovered the madness and the frustration of “the things I want to do I do not do, and what I do not want to do I do.”
I am still loved by God, and through my shortcomings there is his grace, and through my faults I am yet loved more than I can ever understand.
A life in full pursuit of God cannot be lived alone, you have to have brothers and sisters sharpening you, keeping you accountable, and growing with you.
So I ask for your help, join me in this pursuit of God, and do not accept compromise, for the sake of us both. Pursue him passionately, with nothing held back, and see what he does in return.
John 17:12
-Israel
These words of Paul from Romans 7:15 are my heart at this moment. In this I feel what he felt, that I desire to be closer to God, but I am continuously propelled backward by my sin nature. It is maddeningly frustrating, but I understand the madness of the Apostle Paul. Indeed, I find myself feeling the same way.
I made the decision before this semester started that things were going to be different. I was going to call God out on his promises. What I mean by this is that he has promised to take me as far spiritually, mentally, and emotionally as I will let them him take me in maturity. I want to be that Man of God.
And I will not play games anymore.
This is bigger than me, than my conceited desires of this world that seek for ownership of my soul, and will take every piece that I let them take.
But only as much as I let them
The Christian life is a choice.
You choose to accept Salvation, and once you have you are no longer a sinner. You are a Saint who sins, but only as much as you choose to.
The reason all sin is the same in Gods’ eyes is because all sin is compromise, it is all us making the choice that “this isn’t so bad….”
Through all your individual stipulations and specific situations and whatever excuses you use to make yourself more comfortable with sin the fact remains that it is a choice.
I’m not trying to just preach fire and brimstone and condemnation or anything like that. I’m just sharing my heart, because I am just as guilty as you are. To quote Paul again as he parallels my own life, “I am the chief of sinners.”
Indeed I am, even as I make the choice to change my life to pursue God more completely I am still a sinner.
But I digress… I am a Saint who sins.
And once you have made the choice to accept salvation, so are you.
So I urge you, through our brokenness, to help each other pursue God more completely than we ever have before.
Though I myself have compromised, though I have discovered the madness and the frustration of “the things I want to do I do not do, and what I do not want to do I do.”
I am still loved by God, and through my shortcomings there is his grace, and through my faults I am yet loved more than I can ever understand.
A life in full pursuit of God cannot be lived alone, you have to have brothers and sisters sharpening you, keeping you accountable, and growing with you.
So I ask for your help, join me in this pursuit of God, and do not accept compromise, for the sake of us both. Pursue him passionately, with nothing held back, and see what he does in return.
John 17:12
-Israel
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Death, Love, and the God Who Weeps for His People
Jesus Wept.
The shortest verse in the Bible, but I’m only beginning to understand the breadth of it.
It was after the death of his friend Lazarus; he waited to return to help him until the man had been dead for four days. When he arrived Mary was crying, everyone was distraught, everyone was mad at Jesus, because they knew he could have helped. Jesus asked to see the body, then breaks down.
The Savior of the universe, Son of GOD, breaks down and cries.
Why?
He was about to heal Lazarus, why would he cry, why not laugh, berate them for their doubt, and then call the man up out of his grave. It would have been a big glorious show of the power of God, but Jesus contrasted with all those possibilities by breaking down into tears. I’m so hung up on this… why?
Oh the… humanity?
The humanity of Jesus is something that is most widely discussed in something like the DaVinci Code where he is portrayed as impregnating Mary etc. etc. excuse me while I puke.
Jesus was fully man and fully God. Ok, that makes no sense so don’t preach to me that crap without explaining what it means. (Can you tell I’m in Church all the time?)
Jesus was human, like you and I. He had the same weaknesses, the same mind, and the same heart, just like us. He was tempted, he was hurt, he laughed, he cried, he bled, he got hungry and he even had to pee. He had to control his thoughts and emotions just like we are… supposed to. What made Jesus capable of that?
He had the same promise we do, he was just more aware of it, because he was the Son of God.
He was the embodiment of the conscience that drives you and I toward the truth.
He was (is) a man, but he was the walking example of how scripture was supposed to be lived.
That’s why Jesus is so amazing; he was just like us, but without the willingness to compromise that messes us up every time.
And so he wept, he could carry the weight of his calling anymore without cracking just a little. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for him to stay away those extra days. It must have torn him apart, then he gets there to see Mary so broken, his friend gone, his alleged friends berating him for not doing what he “should have done.” He couldn’t carry that burden, that… cross… anymore.
This changes my entire perspective on the man Jesus; he isn’t just the example of perfection that I’ll never reach. He was a broken man who went by each day giving his best with a determination unrivaled, because he loved those broken souls around him that much.
All for love.
He wept because he loved his people so much that their despair broke him, even though he could fix it, he knew the cost.
Even then, he knew the cost.
This blog is so incomplete that I did not want to post it, but here are my thoughts so far. :-)
Psalm 27:8
-Israel
The shortest verse in the Bible, but I’m only beginning to understand the breadth of it.
It was after the death of his friend Lazarus; he waited to return to help him until the man had been dead for four days. When he arrived Mary was crying, everyone was distraught, everyone was mad at Jesus, because they knew he could have helped. Jesus asked to see the body, then breaks down.
The Savior of the universe, Son of GOD, breaks down and cries.
Why?
He was about to heal Lazarus, why would he cry, why not laugh, berate them for their doubt, and then call the man up out of his grave. It would have been a big glorious show of the power of God, but Jesus contrasted with all those possibilities by breaking down into tears. I’m so hung up on this… why?
Oh the… humanity?
The humanity of Jesus is something that is most widely discussed in something like the DaVinci Code where he is portrayed as impregnating Mary etc. etc. excuse me while I puke.
Jesus was fully man and fully God. Ok, that makes no sense so don’t preach to me that crap without explaining what it means. (Can you tell I’m in Church all the time?)
Jesus was human, like you and I. He had the same weaknesses, the same mind, and the same heart, just like us. He was tempted, he was hurt, he laughed, he cried, he bled, he got hungry and he even had to pee. He had to control his thoughts and emotions just like we are… supposed to. What made Jesus capable of that?
He had the same promise we do, he was just more aware of it, because he was the Son of God.
He was the embodiment of the conscience that drives you and I toward the truth.
He was (is) a man, but he was the walking example of how scripture was supposed to be lived.
That’s why Jesus is so amazing; he was just like us, but without the willingness to compromise that messes us up every time.
And so he wept, he could carry the weight of his calling anymore without cracking just a little. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for him to stay away those extra days. It must have torn him apart, then he gets there to see Mary so broken, his friend gone, his alleged friends berating him for not doing what he “should have done.” He couldn’t carry that burden, that… cross… anymore.
This changes my entire perspective on the man Jesus; he isn’t just the example of perfection that I’ll never reach. He was a broken man who went by each day giving his best with a determination unrivaled, because he loved those broken souls around him that much.
All for love.
He wept because he loved his people so much that their despair broke him, even though he could fix it, he knew the cost.
Even then, he knew the cost.
This blog is so incomplete that I did not want to post it, but here are my thoughts so far. :-)
Psalm 27:8
-Israel
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Contradictions, The Soul, and Reason Versus Emotion
Lately God has laid on my heart my non-existent understanding of the human psyche in relation to making decision based on emotions or reason. To simplify this, to make a decision based on reason is done with the mind through logic and reason by fact; even if you’re going on faith you can make a decision by reason. But then again, faith is partially an emotion. And there’s the conundrum, you cannot make a decision solely by reason, but if you make a decision solely by emotion you will be lead astray. “The heart is deceitful above all things,” says the prophet Jeremiah. So there must be a median ground that we can all rely on to make decision that will hold up to the mind’s God has given us while still not ignoring the emotions that God has given us as well. I understanding that understanding will come with age and wisdom but I am a logical person so it helps to write it out.
I am also a very passionate person; do you see my world of contradictions?
That’s really as far as I’ve gotten in my understanding of this, I find myself contradicting myself at every turn and I feel… I feel, so am I writing this blog with emotion or with reason or with a strange combination of both that I cannot identify nor understand?
Can you tell I’m enjoying this? ☺
The way I see it, a persons soul is their most valuable possession. You can understand why, our bodies and our things pass away, but our soul is us forever. I believe the heart is the greatest part of the soul. The soul is composed of our passions, the things that mean the most to us. Wouldn’t you agree that a person is not passionate is… empty?
You cannot make a decision solely on reason; you have to use an emotion to block out your other emotions. You are designed to use both.
Jesus prayed in the garden for God not to make him die on the cross, that was emotion.
But he also prayed “not my will but yours” that was reason. Emotion played it’s part in both, but if reason had not played a part then Jesus would not have done it, because he was as much a human as you or I.
He knocked over tables. That was emotion, but it was done with the intention to make a point and it did not cross a line.
Emotion caused the fall of humanity. The woman let her heart control her and the man just stood there with no control at all. That sounds familiar doesn’t it?
So as you can see Biblically that both play a part, and the test I will use on myself is very simple and I’m disappointed in myself that I did not get to this point earlier.
If you are making a decision that feels like emotion and you are not sure your mind is getting through, ask yourself if this decision glorifies God.
Will it bring you closer to him?
Will it bring others closer to him?
Guard your heart; be aware of the thoughts of your mind and the meditations of your heart.
God gave you both for a reason, use both of them, be aware of where God is calling you to be and you will not make the mistake of Adam and Eve.
Psalm 19:11
Psalm 86:11
-Jason
P.S Thanks to Daniel Chandler for helping me write this blog. He's the man. And he needs a girlfriend.
I am also a very passionate person; do you see my world of contradictions?
That’s really as far as I’ve gotten in my understanding of this, I find myself contradicting myself at every turn and I feel… I feel, so am I writing this blog with emotion or with reason or with a strange combination of both that I cannot identify nor understand?
Can you tell I’m enjoying this? ☺
The way I see it, a persons soul is their most valuable possession. You can understand why, our bodies and our things pass away, but our soul is us forever. I believe the heart is the greatest part of the soul. The soul is composed of our passions, the things that mean the most to us. Wouldn’t you agree that a person is not passionate is… empty?
You cannot make a decision solely on reason; you have to use an emotion to block out your other emotions. You are designed to use both.
Jesus prayed in the garden for God not to make him die on the cross, that was emotion.
But he also prayed “not my will but yours” that was reason. Emotion played it’s part in both, but if reason had not played a part then Jesus would not have done it, because he was as much a human as you or I.
He knocked over tables. That was emotion, but it was done with the intention to make a point and it did not cross a line.
Emotion caused the fall of humanity. The woman let her heart control her and the man just stood there with no control at all. That sounds familiar doesn’t it?
So as you can see Biblically that both play a part, and the test I will use on myself is very simple and I’m disappointed in myself that I did not get to this point earlier.
If you are making a decision that feels like emotion and you are not sure your mind is getting through, ask yourself if this decision glorifies God.
Will it bring you closer to him?
Will it bring others closer to him?
Guard your heart; be aware of the thoughts of your mind and the meditations of your heart.
God gave you both for a reason, use both of them, be aware of where God is calling you to be and you will not make the mistake of Adam and Eve.
Psalm 19:11
Psalm 86:11
-Jason
P.S Thanks to Daniel Chandler for helping me write this blog. He's the man. And he needs a girlfriend.
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